Private Board Giveaway!
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From: CJayC | Posted: 4/1/2004 8:49:32 AM | Message Detail
Want a private board of your own on GameFAQs?

Impress me.

Come up with why you should be given a private board to administrate (i.e. you just get to pick and choose which users are allowed, the TOS is still in effect).

The best, oh, between 0 and 5 posters in this topic will get this highly experimental thingy.

Or will they? Is it all an April Fool's joke?


I'm drunk with power!
Wait, no, "Buttershots". I'm drunk with "Buttershots"!
From: Jdude84 | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:06:42 AM | Message Detail
You're a sick, sick little man.

I'm sending the penny arcade support services robot after you. give me control of LUE ^_^
<35>Mr. Vegas! 24/7
From: Person | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:44:45 AM | Message Detail
I guess that means everyone that replies to this topic is a winner!

I think I should get a private board of my own because I've contributed to these boards in a tremendous way with my frequent *****ing, and scathing sarcasm towards others. These are qualities that are vital in a Jerk With His Own Private Board, and as such, it would be appropriate to fulfill the latter portion of this title.
"You miss one hundred percent of the shots you never take."
From: Kobe | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:45:42 AM | Message Detail
arghh you posted here as well CJayC.. (posted on the icon board a moment ago..)

I want to be in charge of the S&R: NBA board because there are too many trollers over there and it needs some attention!

<35> Kobe:445
Laker Fan: Proud and Still Standing
From: Inthesto | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:49:37 AM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: Sashanan | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:55:07 AM | Message Detail
Other moderators (Solo in particular) have secret game boards they can easily use as their home board, but nothing comes close to the name Sashanan. It is shameful that a user of my standing should resort to SAS Combat Simulator because it shares the first three letters with my name. And Quest for Glory 2, where my name comes from, has enforced topicality.

The need for a Sashanan board where people can come bother me with the Attn: Sashanan topics that currently flood CE and MBH is quite apparent.

'OMG! Bad Sash! Stop harassing people!' -- bansama
Ramblings from the Desert:
From: Boba Fett | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:55:30 AM | Message Detail
I'll bite...

I should have a private board because, although I'm far from perfect, I'd love to see a social board that had users who came here for good fun. Nowdays it seems most of the major social boards (CE in general) are stomping grounds for trolls and the constantly immature.

I think a private social board where only people who have been registered at least two years can come (karma doesn't apply). It would also be restricted as to where, if you turn out to be a troll or have no intention of being serious, you'd be booted from the board.

I think the board would contain a good balance of humorous topics and serious discussion; sort of like the way CE was in its heyday.

I know we have specific boards for user levels, but like I mentioned, they are karma specific. This board would be for a long time user who doesn't neccessarily login every day.
Max 2 lines, 160 characters total
From: Annihilator | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:55:35 AM | Message Detail

I deserve one because I'll be going to the army soon (it's the law), which means access to GameFAQs will be pretty much taken away from me, and it's been my Internet home since I remember myself being an Internet person.
"People think we ride camels to school" - Me, about Israel.
ICQ : 42788191
From: Jerec | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:56:12 AM | Message Detail

Hello Mr. Kurns! Me sick! Me need board now.
Trolling? Bah! My messages do not sit under bridges eating goats.
From: MrAsh | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:56:27 AM | Message Detail
Because we both live in Texas and go to GameFAQs. That makes us almost like, brothers or something. You've gotta treat your family right, don't you? Except for that crazy uncle. We don't need to talk about him, mom gets so ashamed.
You can not find the true path until you close your eyes.
From: Jerec | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:05:54 AM | Message Detail
Oh, add to that, I could invite all the people in the Jerec fanclub, and never be bothered by people I don't like ever again.

But I'll stick by that warped Simpsons quote for now.
Trolling? Bah! My messages do not sit under bridges eating goats.
From: Inthesto | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:06:04 AM | Message Detail

Well, I was hoping to save this for the next round of moderator applications, but I suppose this is just as good an opportunity. First we'll have to refer to the following diagram:

Now then:

1. Segment ST is congruent to Segment MD. Reason: Opposite sides in a isoceles trapezoid are congruent.

2. Angle SOT is congruent to Angle DOM. Reason: Vertical angles are congruent.

3. Angle SDT is congruent to Angle SMT. Reason: Opposite interior angles of parallel lines are congruent.

4. Angle DSM is congruent to Angle MTD. Reason: Same as 3.

5. Triangle SOD is similar to Triangle TOM. Reason: Triangles with two congruent angles are similar.

6. Uhh....crap.

Hey, it's been a while since I've taken geometry, and I sucked at it to begin with.
From: crimsonassassin | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:08:30 AM | Message Detail
Ceej, you know that I need a board like that. I provide you with lots of amusement (and headaches too I bet =P). Plus as Raptor has said I must have the largest balls in the world. I believe you can recall why he said that. If not, IM me and I'll remind you sometime. I add both humor and enforcement to these boards (as you say in that last contest response of mine...heh). So I think you owe me a board my good admin. Don't make me hunt you down in Texas...I know you Texans carry shotguns and believe in being able to give a "do it yourself" death penalty, but trust me you don't want none of this...>_>
crimsonassassin Your friendly, neighborhood assassin/mod
insert witty quote here
From: ISSchamp | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:11:40 AM | Message Detail
I don't deserve one but if you gave me one I would only use it to tease and mentally torture unsuspecting n00bs with my mind games.
ISSCHAMP - U r ok - Emile Heskey.
Marching On Together, We're Gonna See You Win!
From: Masamune2 | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:55:59 AM | Message Detail
I bet this is like the time when Kildread wanted people to try to impress him but everyone failed to impress him just like everyone here will fail to impress CJayC, who isn't playing an April Fool's joke on us because he would give someone that impressed him a board, if it were possible to do so.
''Youth is a wonderful thing; what a crime to waste it on children'' - George Bernard Shaw
From: Jerec | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:57:07 AM | Message Detail
Ooh, he card reads good.
Trolling? Bah! My messages do not sit under bridges eating goats.
From: Xythar | Posted: 4/1/2004 11:12:45 AM | Message Detail
I should get a private board ("Trongest") in recognition of my tireless work in writing questions for (874 so far) and spending hours upon hours hosting RPG trivia sessions on IRC. :)
-Xythar Darkmoon, Master Magus
That's where I saw the software pirate! He told me to burn things.
From: BrandonP | Posted: 4/1/2004 12:18:08 PM | Message Detail
I should get a private board because I've hardly posted in the last six months, instead choosing to lurk in the shadows and wait for the right time to strike.

And that time is now!
If cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
From: AnotherGamer | Posted: 4/1/2004 1:55:53 PM | Message Detail

I want a private board. 'Cuz I'm Finnish. And I'm #5 on the Karma list. Thus I'm obvious beyond any other nonmod in my supreme greatness. Also because I'm a furry. That should convince anyone.
Damned imbeciles. Why do you wish to fight?
-Bahamut, FF8
From: HitmanHart | Posted: 4/1/2004 3:00:50 PM | Message Detail

Canadiens de Montréal 03/04 Record
40-29-7-4 91-Pts.
From: Jarek | Posted: 4/1/2004 3:12:52 PM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: Jarek | Posted: 4/1/2004 3:13:26 PM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: Jarek | Posted: 4/1/2004 3:16:25 PM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: flowerpot | Posted: 4/1/2004 4:17:46 PM | Message Detail

Greetings Sir Ceej.

If this is indeed serious, and I hope it is, I would like to humbly request administrative rights to the Pipe Mania board. While I understand that the closing of the board may have been a necessary evil, one you may not have wanted to do to the denizens of said board. As a regular visitor of the board, I can assure you that there were a core base of users there that were not only the best of friends, but also the best of teachers and students to each other. Pipe Mania was a thriving community that dealt with the same problems any other community would deal with: trolls, newbs, etc. This community was respectful of GameFAQs Administration and even had users (non-mods or Admins) who posted topics with special rules that allowed the board to exist!

The deletion of Pipe Mania is not a good thing, IMO. It removes the #1 source of responsible discussion of the counterculture and mind-altering substances from A LOT of people. I would estimate the core, dedicated user-base to exceed 100. This is 100 people who came together with common interests on a message board where they could responsibly discuss those interests and educate others on those interests. Deleting discussion on drugs will NOT stop GameFAQers who want to try it from trying it. It will, however, prevent them from discussing and educating each other on the possible danger of irresponsible use of these substances.

Por example, sire, you'd be hard-pressed to find a topic blurting out phrases such as "DO E AND COKE TOGETHER OM*G YOUR BRAIN WILL MELT AND DRIPPPP OUT UR EARS" or "DRINK ROBETUSSIN AND TRIP ON DXM BECUZ ITS 1337ER THAN YOUR CORNY LIFE." The users are not dealers try to get customers. You are more likely to find topics asking questions about drugs, and responsible and HIGHLY (pun?) intelligent users (i.e. Pompean Mysticportal, steve anonymous2, O 1, Flexible Bullet, StupidGenius, etc.) giving educated answers.

Pipe Mania may have saved a life for all we know. Through education, a new pot smoker may have learned not to smoke weed from a particular dealer, who judging by the evidence presented, sprays his product with roach spray. Through education, an aspiring acid tripper may have learned that remnants of the drugs remain at the base of your spinal chord FOREVER, and that this may cause "flashbacks" in the future. Happy-happy ravers may have visited Pipe Mania and then given up taking ecstasy, after finding out it basically eats holes through your brain once use of the drugs goes beyond moderated and towards ABUSE.

With your permission, I would like to run Pipe Mania (or another board, doesn't necessarily have to be PM). The new forum will be blocked off, apparently, as you have stated in your post, to anyone except who I admit. This will ensure that only those people who WANT to be there GET there. This will ensure that loyal users of YOUR website are safe next time they decide to try a mind-altering substance. This will not only show responsibility on your part, but also a deep and sincere appreciation for loyal users of your site, who have recently been displaced with the closing of Pipe Mania.

Please, Ceej. Please.

I'm not just asking, I'm begging. This is needed.

Thank you,

-pot (Former FAQ writer, former BETA Boards tester [FAQ64 account], and former President of Spork [I'm a big RPer, if you've never really looked at Spork, I helped make it a thriving RP community])
From: flowerpot | Posted: 4/1/2004 4:20:29 PM | Message Detail

PS: if drug discussion is still banned from these private boards, Pipe Mania still is a thriving social community now displaced by the board closure and could use a board that could keep out trolls and the lot.
From: Reaper | Posted: 4/1/2004 4:48:34 PM | Message Detail
What an April Fool's! If you let me have one, I won't let become LUE and I won't kill those Pokemon that keep popping up around GFAQs!
<35>"I eat bullets raw with wasabi sauce." - Devil May Care
From: Xythar | Posted: 4/1/2004 4:53:37 PM | Message Detail
If you're going to go that far, flowerpot, can't you just set up board elsewhere (ie, off the site) and move your community there?
-Xythar Darkmoon, Master Magus
That's where I saw the software pirate! He told me to burn things.
From: DarkAngel | Posted: 4/1/2004 5:50:11 PM | Message Detail

I'd want one just to have one. Just to say "You're not allowed in because I don't like you."

Osoroshii kangae nimo osoware masu.
From: brak2000 | Posted: 4/1/2004 5:51:44 PM | Message Detail
Dear Super Jeff Veasey,

I deserve my own board because everyone loves brak and everyone would love to post on a board under my name. My select friends would secretly make fun of other users behind their back and ensure that everyone is picked on. The board brak2000 would be idolized by users more than LUE and would become a new standard for why people come to GameFAQs.

Isn't this reason enough?

You do want to increase your hits, don't you?

From: DApro | Posted: 4/1/2004 5:59:54 PM | Message Detail
First of all, it is quite obvious that I have more yogurts than anyone else in this board.

Nobody else can seduce 60-year-old men from both Korea and Peru like I do.

My cactus is quite the gentleman.

Evil upside-down question mark: ¿

You say we eat babies in Japan? You are so foolish! We don't eat babies, we **** them.
Previous signature stolen by many a person ;_;
From: yuuwaku | Posted: 4/1/2004 6:06:01 PM | Message Detail
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]
From: yuuwaku | Posted: 4/1/2004 6:24:05 PM | Message Detail
i want a private board because i'm an elitist bastard and all of the other elitist bastards from MBH-social would cream if we could get an official MBH social board. We would point and laugh at other un-cool MBH regulars that could never get in, and on every thursday we would worship a mighty ceejus idol that we would erect in your honor just so we could kiss your feet while chanting "I want to have ceej's babies."
Woahwoahwoah, you accidentally clicked ''Message Board Help'' instead of ''Message Detail.'' - Umaro
mod him baby one more time! - sashanan
From: Jarek | Posted: 4/1/2004 6:38:11 PM | Message Detail
I'm up for it.

(Insert generic "I'm cool, I'm great, I'm here all the time, I like it here" speech)
From: Perfect Donkey Moon | Posted: 4/1/2004 6:44:08 PM | Message Detail
Hey CJayC

I have a dream that one day this Message Board (and what a great one it is) will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all board users are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former n00bs and the sons of former idols will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the board of Colecovision, a desert board, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children (New Users) will one day dialog in a message board where they will not be judged by the karma of their account but by the content of their messages. I have a dream today.

Legal Disclaimer: [This message is in no way intended to be racist.]
Lysdexics of the World, UNTIE!
<35> PDM, the idol of BtT Addicts
From: flowerpot | Posted: 4/1/2004 7:22:58 PM | Message Detail

From: Xythar | Posted: 4/1/2004 11:53:37 AM | Message Detail If you're going to go that far, flowerpot, can't you just set up board elsewhere (ie, off the site) and move your community there?

Of course we can do that. But why move off GameFAQs when this has been our home and eater of free time for so long? Mine especially, seeing as I've spent about a fourth of my life regularly visiting GameFAQs. I see this as a possible avenue to keep the Pipe Mania community happy and on GameFAQs. If it doesn't work, I'm pretty sure they'll all migrate to an ezboard or something. But ezboards are whack. GameFAQs is crack.
From: flowerpot | Posted: 4/1/2004 7:29:50 PM | Message Detail

And not to sound anal about the whole thing, but, *throws in comments from a closed petition on Site Suggestions*:

From: Camwi | Posted: 3/31/2004 4:19:30 PM | Message Detail Even the Mods stuck up for Pipe Mania, because not only did few ToS violations occur there, it was actually really friendly and helpful to those interested in the subject at hand. Countless lives were being helped by the information given there.


Not that he's going to reopen it, of course, but still..

From: Chrono Trigger | Posted: 3/31/2004 3:14:39 PM | Message Detail *signs*

It was a good place to ask questions and get information. Very good for teens who are thinking about any experimenting. I see it as a resource, not a problem.
From: Math Murderer | Posted: 4/1/2004 7:51:41 PM | Message Detail
I'll play along...

As you probably know, I already have "my own" board, Survivor (Commodore 64). It's quite active and I think I do a decent job in keeping up with the activities there. Being the administrator of that board or a new social board would allow me to be much more efficient in dealing with such a board. That in turn would improve the communication between mods (hopefully not just me) and regular users, which is a valuable PR move. The other benefit of letting me administrate a board is that it would be like an apprenticeship for becoming the next GameFAQs Admin. Those are not just delusions of grandeur, right?

Of course there's another viable option. Let mods who are familiar with LUE, like CronoGamer, crimsonassassin and myself, adminstrate hat board. You know you don't want to deal with the LUEsers anymore... :)
||\\//|| ||\\//|| There's nothing right in my left brain.
|| .. || || .. || There's nothing left in my right brain.
From: Steve | Posted: 4/1/2004 8:34:53 PM | Message Detail

I've been nice to you, and you owe me. :-D
I don't annoy you. Mostly.
I've been here forever and a half.

I have GameFAQs follower friends who would be happy to be invited. -- xBoards was written last year during spring break, and so a private board for the original members would be like a perfect reunion.

From: Ashton Anchors | Posted: 4/1/2004 8:35:42 PM | Message Detail
Why should I receive my own board? Quite frankly, there are several answers to this question.

Firstly, and the most important reason, I am a very inactive member of this message board. I change the oil to my vehicle more frequently than I browse through the topics of GameFAQs. In fact, the only reason I do log in to my account is to prevent it from deactivating.

While this second point correlates and is relevant to my first point, I believe it deserves its own subordinate claim. Including this post, I have four (4) active posts on the GameFAQs message board. I never post. Considering the small amount of time I spend browsing through the forums, I use that amount to lurk. I am unproductive, and I do not contribute anything.

Additionally, I have a quote by the not so famous John Smedly. His quick-witted comment accentuates his dry humor that I have never actually seen. For all I know, his comment about Terry Bogard could have been the only humorous discourse he had ever presented in his entire life.

So what warrants do these reasons have to my claim? What evidence have I produced to demonstrate that I should have my own board?

Actually, I have produced nothing. Nothing at all! If by some sick twist of fate this ruse is actually valid, and I do happen to earn my own board within this site, I would probably never visit it. I would never look at it, manage it, or post in it. In fact, I would probably forget about it within a week of time.

Some of you reading this may question my worthiness towards such a distinguished opportunity. But I have one question for those aforementioned. Are you idols?

. . .Wait, you are?

Damn it.
Aku Soku Zan
From: xxxFTWxxx | Posted: 4/1/2004 8:58:02 PM | Message Detail
I'd like one.

Can't think of a good reason though. "Fish" usually isn't a good reason.
So I probably won't get one.
Obo and Jay would hate me for it though. That'd be funny.
From: MrMoogle | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:02:54 PM | Message Detail
i could use one 'cause moogles are awesome and everyone already loves me anyway.
MrMoogle - "Sexy mod hoster extraordinaire"
Kupo, kupo, kupopo.
From: enalzi | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:07:07 PM | Message Detail
I definately should get one.
Why? You owe me.
Just think about all the hours I've lost because of Bridge Builder, Progress Quest, and everything else from memepool that you would post on CE.
Heartless Bastard of Questions & Suggestions
''Life is a placebo masquerading as a simile'' -John Flansburgh
From: superstar64 | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:15:40 PM | Message Detail
I'll bite, too...

...why should I get a private board?

1. I'm perfectly capable of adminship without stepping on anyone else's toes, and anyone that knows me well is aware of that.

2. I would be challenged by very few people because of my juggernaut Karma.

3. I have equal amounts of respect for goths, preppies, Avril Lavigne-esque posers, furries, and all those that don't fit into any of the above categories. Impartiality galore.

4. I <3 GameFAQs too much to avoid this opportunity. =)

5. Should I become bored with it, it might be a profitable eBay sale.
<35> The answer is "threeve".
From: Wolfgang Visarett | Posted: 4/1/2004 9:38:27 PM | Message Detail
If I had my own private board, I'd turn it into my own private Role-Playing, Fan Fiction, Writing whatever place with a social atmosphere where everything could be properly regulated by the people who understand the board and whatnot. Shrugs.

W.Visarett[35]: ''Although, I doubt that'd ever happen.''
From: Spoonguy | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:08:07 PM | Message Detail
*posts just for fun*
Philadelphia Eagles: D-Mac, Brian Westbrook, TO, The Freak, Corey Simon, Darwin Walker, Brian Dawkins, David Akers. Who do YOU have?
From: 64manic | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:35:54 PM | Message Detail
Impress me.

My username starts with t3h number!!!11!!

Feel the power..

Insert witty remark here
From: Jarek | Posted: 4/1/2004 10:39:25 PM | Message Detail
Oh and isn't this impressive

If you add up my user ID, it equals 7. OMG!
From: DApro | Posted: 4/1/2004 11:03:30 PM | Message Detail
My user ID is 1313. I'm twice as unlucky as your regular board user with a 13 in his user ID. Pity me.
You say we eat babies in Japan? You are so foolish! We don't eat babies, we **** them.
Previous signature stolen by many a person ;_;
From: XCalibur | Posted: 4/2/2004 12:40:01 AM | Message Detail
Why should I get a board? Pretty much all of these idols can enter their ID into the "board=xxx" link and use that . While, old XCalibur here gets shafted with the "An invalid Board ID has been used to access this page.". Not fair, that's why one should be created with the ID of 120.

It must be the buttershots that got me thinking like this, or that damn pikachu looking at me.
From: AnotherGamer | Posted: 4/2/2004 12:58:20 AM | Message Detail
Awcrap. Mine's already taken by Game Design and Programming.
Damned imbeciles. Why do you wish to fight?
-Bahamut, FF8
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